What can I say? I am 44 years and for the last 10 years, I have been making my life a whole lot of chaos!!
To top that off, for the last 6 years I have not had a stable job and I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
All I know is that I CAN NOT work an ordinary job where I have to meet up every day from 0800 am to 0500pm!! I just CAN’T!! That causes chaos!
I am the only one in this world that is so lost at 44 years old and it is a darn lonely place to be.
Can you make sense out of this picture? Nope, neither can I and that is my life!
Everyone I have ever known has a job or is doing something with their life, whether they like it or not, I am the only one in limbo. Everyone has their shit together…how???
I feel like a ball that has been tossed up into the sky and still hasn’t landed, just swaying from side to side getting sicker and sicker, more chaos. Meanwhile knowing I have to make a mind shift but can’t do that either!!
I need to focus, I can’t. I need to be consistent; I can’t. I need to work; I can’t. I need to…work out; I can’t. I need learn skills (new skills); I can’t!!!
My, what can I do but to wallow in my own bitterness and pity???
Well, tomorrow is a new day. Let’s see what tomorrow brings?